i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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