then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
