I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
