you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
