We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
