i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
