I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
