I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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