If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
