belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
