I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Do vagina's smell?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
