i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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