You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
