Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
