Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
