I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
