Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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