No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
