i think my mom watched the whole time
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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