I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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