five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
