Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
