Just fell off a train. Bad.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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