Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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