i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
