I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize