So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
