His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
