as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
