U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
