I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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