Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
