Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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