RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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