I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
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i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
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Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Such a big mess for such a small penis
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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