Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
