i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
