turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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