I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
