that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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