We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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