Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
