i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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