dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
