I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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