so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
