tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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