I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
