yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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