SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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