Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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