He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
