if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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