You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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