just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
