My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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