did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
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Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
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In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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