I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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