Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
only if we run a train.
done.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
