sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
