Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize