remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize