In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
